Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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