I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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