And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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