I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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