Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
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