The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Alive.
So much puke
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
