Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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