..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
