love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
