Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
