the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
