so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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