saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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