you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Acid is not a monday night drug
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
