I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
