In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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