Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
