Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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