What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
What a dumb baby whore.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
