Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
