I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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