just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
