he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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