The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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