My nipple is on Facebook.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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