careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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