My boss' voice literally gives me gas
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you didnt know i had herpes?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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