Have you finally orgasmed yet?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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