dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
