Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
