Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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