my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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