Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm just crazy horny about you
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
