your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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