i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
