Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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