I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
