So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
