I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
