i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
please come you make the beer taste better
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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