there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
