She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
