M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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