youre lurking in front of me
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
