no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize