Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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