If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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