If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
