If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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