and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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