That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
