I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
vagina is talking i cant
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
