How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize