You just made me feel so damn special
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
