Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
