Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the day after is always just damage control
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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