Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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