You can't motorboat a personality
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you win again, gameday.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
