Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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