I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize