i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
