If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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