they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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